March 28 , 2008 , marks a very significant landmark yet the saddest moment in the history of my existence . It was 1:00 in the morning when the news exploded like a bomb . I woke up when my cp beeps to my surprise it was a txt message from my brilliant big brother friend for more than two years .I was shocked , could hardly believed with what I read. I just found myself teary eyed .I’m happy for him but other parts of my hypothalamus dictate loneliness . I just don’t know why ? A question that bothers me since then .At first , I just simply take it for granted believing it was sort of brotherly affection . But to my knowing , I care for him more than just a brother and friend .In my eyes , it’s wrong since then I don’t want that the friendship we have “ cultivated “ will be destroyed . If possible I want to cherished it forever because I value him as a good friend and big brother . But sometimes , we are just human bound to feel something extraordinary to others . I ignored it , tried to divert my attention to something different but to no avail , it grows day by day ..I hate myself for the first time. Am I such a fool loving someone the fact that I’m not worthy enough for him ?Shyness overwhelmed my being after the confession. . At last , sad to say I have already violated my dictum to my students . If they come to know about it , surely they will laugh at me . But , let me tell you that for the very first time in my life I tried to reveal the real dictate of my heart .Professionalism was forgotten during the confession . What a shame on my part ? Am I a laughing stock now in your eyes ? If so , can’t blame you for such . Honestly , I tried to cover up the confession by sending a message in the afternoon . Unfortunately , my expectation doesn’t work due to the fact that I’m not veteran in the field of lying . I don’t know how to play games with anybody else because of my serious personality . Instead , I was hurt with your message . An explanation follows on my part but it seems you could hardly believe with my revelations now. Despite what happened memoirs of yesterday is still save in my cpu . Every time memoirs need to be reminisced then surely I’ll just go over the emails stored in my inbox . Those are supposed to be valued for life . An important asset to be treasured till the last end of my dying breath . Though , market value will not increase it needs to be kept for once in my life It reminds me of “ You “ .
You who brought forth happiness in my being even if I don’t deserved to admire someone like you because of career discrepancy. You occupy the highest rank in the strata and I belong to the lowest . Thank you very much for being a part of my existence . You give color to the sunset of yesterday . A new beginning emerged now in my existence .Shadows of the past has been totally erased from the time that the cursor touch my heart . Sorry for that big brother friend . An apology has been said . . Blame me for my foolishness . Am I such a fool ?